Sunday, July 29, 2007

Latest Bout of Illness

The last two weeks have been challenging physically. If you are interested in details, please read on.

On July 19, I wrote the following and asked our administrative assistant to translate it into Chinese for use when I went to the doctor the next day:
July 14, I woke up with a bad headache and pain in my abdomen
July 15, the headache was gone, but the pain in abdomen remained. Could not sleep this evening at all.
July 15 - 19. Daily pain in my abdomen with difficulty sleeping at night.

No diarrhea, no nausea, no fever, no cough, no sore throat, no runny nose.

Because of the pain, I have eaten less. Thus, my bowel movements are less than usual but still daily.

Pain is quite strong immediately upon waking up in the morning as well as during and after eating. The feeling of the pain is similar to that of unreleased flatulence except that this pain is higher, i.e., not in the colon. During this time, I have not had any more or less flatulence than usual.

Abdomen is sensitive to touch.
I went to the doctor. He ran a blood test to confirm that it was not appendicitis, diagnosed me with "GI function disorder" (胃肠功能紊乱), and prescribed two "western" medicines and a Chinese medicine. The "western" medicines ended up being the homeopathic Belladonna Tincture (颠茄合剂) and Bacillus Licheniformis Capsule (地衣芽孢杆菌胶囊). After some web research, I discovered that Belladonna is also known as Deadly Nightshade and known for its poisoning properties. At first, I assumed that the Bacillus Licheniformis was just another beneficial intestinal bacteria like acidophillus or lactobacillus. Then I looked on the web and decided that it was not really the innocent probiotic that I thought. I felt let down by the doctor.

I made no improvement and went back to the hospital on July 23. This time a medical student friend took me to secretly see her teacher. He ordered an ultrasound, more blood tests, urine test, stool test. The stool test was quite difficult since I had already stopped eating for several days due to the pain. I collected as many test reports as were already processed and went back to see the doctor. He looked at the reports and said the diagnosis was difficult. However, since my serum amylase (淀粉酶) was 718.0 u/l when it should be between 32.0 and 641.0, perhaps I had pancreatitis. Two tests were not going to be ready until 4:30 p.m., but he said that they were not going to add any relevant insight into the problem, so I did not need to bother to pick them up. He prescribed two Chinese medicines as well as two western medicines: Sodium Rabeprazole and Pinaverium Bromide.

Not picking up my tests did not sit well with me since I had paid for those tests, so I had our administrative assistant pick them up the next morning--just in case. I continued not to have improvement, so on July 26 I went back to the hospital. I pulled out those two last reports and said, "Do you want to see them?" He glanced at them and admitted that they were important. They showed that I had pus in my stool and that my dynamic ESR (动态血沉) was at 100.0 mm/h instead of the normal between 0.0 and 15.0---seven times higher than normal. He immediately ordered a colonoscopy under general anesthesia, and gave me a prescription to help me clean out my bowels in the next six hours. The pharmacist handed me two IV bags of Mannitol Injection, and I went home to "prepare". I was truly confused. I did not know if I was supposed to shoot it up, use it as an enema, or drink it. Remember, I am doing everything in Chinese. In the end, I decided to drink it, and that was correct, for my bowel was quite clear within six hours

I was not quite sure how I would get back to the hospital without continuing the catharsis en route. So I stuffed my underwear with towels and hailed a taxi. I told him, “我比较赶时间,请开快点儿” (I'm relatively in a hurry, please drive a little fast). This is a dangerous request because taxi rides are already harrowing experiences in China. I made it to the hospital without an accident of either type.

I felt some anxiety about the anesthesia, but committed the occasion into God's hands, and went under. As soon as I came to, I began asking questions in Chinese. In retrospect, I am really proud of my Chinese--I can communicate even if I am dull-headed with anesthesia. The doctor said that my ileo-cecal valve was bleeding and inflamed (回盲瓣炎), but that it was so close to my appendix that he could not know for sure that my appendix was unaffected, so he ordered another immediate sonogram. After confirming for the third time that it was not appendicitis, he handed me a prescription for levofloxacine and tinidazole and disappeared.

I felt disappointed because all I know is that I have this problem and I do not know what caused it or all the other pains I had earlier on. This inflamed valve cannot account for the full abdominal pains I was having earlier. It only accounts for the very localized pain right next to my appendix. I do not know anything about prognosis or prevention or anything. If anyone medical can assist, please post a comment!

Monday, July 16, 2007

And Can It Be

Last week, I ordered a series of CD's as a birthday gift from my mom. They all were hymns set to baroque style music. The series is called To God All Praise and Glory . I highly recommend them.

This morning as I was worshiping with them, I heard "And Can It Be", so I went to Cyberhymnal to get the lyrics. And lo and behold, I discovered that there were SIX verses to the hymn. In my whole life, I had only every seen five of them. And what a powerful verse too! Look at it:
Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
What an amazing verse! I, of course, see the reason that it would never be included in a modern hymnal since we cannot discuss the wrath of hostile Heaven. However, even if we cannot discuss it, I certainly have felt it and immediately identified with Wesley's sentiments. His wording is reminiscent of two poems I wrote when I was attending Moody Bible Institute, which I will reproduce below:
With terror I approach the Sinai Mount
As clouds of coal obstruct the sunshine rays.
While lightning lunges from its fi’ry fount,
A thund’rous trumpet blasts my speechless gaze.
A Lamb appears, Who climbs the mountainside.
He proffers blood drawn from His mangled back:
Behind this cover, please, I ask you hide
Lest seeing sin, my Father plans attack.

I heed, and all the dreadful sight dissolves.
The glor’ous temple now my orbs perceive.
A bloody mercy seat th’ offense absolves.
The Father, Son through Spirit me receive.
This covenant anew assures no less
Their mercy toward my gross unrighteousness.
AND
From Adam’s lapse an heir I fell to sin.
Its virulent corruption seized my soul.
Against its rape of death I could not win.
My punctured heart despaired of life’s true goal.
Condemned beyond all mercy there I stood.
So mired were they, my hands dripped loathsome guilt.
The charge was read; my tongue was parchèd wood.
One stone had felled the fortress that I’d built.
The Son emerged in radiant attire.
He bared His back revealing stripes He’d borne:
Hear now these wounds that plead your case so dire.
I’ll give My righteousness to you adorn.

O shout for joy, you stars who saw this act,
For Christ’s own blood has signed th’ adoption pact.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Resolutions

Wow, it has been seven months since I last posted! Part of the issue is that my camera broke, so I no longer can provide pictures, which I figured that people would expect from me. So, I reasoned, provide nothing rather than provide something substandard. Another reason is that I suffer from repetitive stress syndrome in my hands, so I try to minimize my typing (very hard for a software engineer). But I noticed today that my hands were feeling better, so today I decided to share what I was thinking about.

Specifically, I was meditating on Jonathan Edwards Resolutions. And I decided to write my own resolutions, reflecting my current state of life. On the side, today I discovered the ESV translation of the Bible. It seems really nice, so I think that I might switch from NASB to it. Today is the first time that I shall have quoted from the ESV. Anyway, here are my resolutions:

The Resolutions of Philip L. Hallstrom
  1. Resolved, every day before retiring, to reflect upon the events of the day through the prayer of examen and to invite the Holy Spirit to "search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 139: 23-24). Specifically, to examine against these criteria:
    1. "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever." (John Piper)
    2. "In acting on behalf of others, have I always been loyal to their interests? In intercourse with friends, have I always been true to my word? Have I failed to repeat the precepts that have been handed down to me" (Kongzi)
    3. The Decalogue (Exod 20: 1-17)
      1. "You shall have no other gods before me."
      2. "You shall not make for yourself a carved image."
      3. "You shall not take the name of Yahweh your God in vain."
      4. "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."
      5. "Honor your father and your mother."
      6. "You shall not murder."
      7. "You shall not commit adultery."
      8. "You shall not steal."
      9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
      10. "You shall not covet…anything that is your neighbor's."
    4. "I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?" (Job 31:1)
    5. "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does Yahweh require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)
    6. "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength…You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:30-31)
  2. Resolved, to remain ever conscious that the enemy of my soul engages me in a mortal battle, and sober-mindedly to make choices that reflect the gravity of this fact:
    1. "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Pet 5:8)
    2. "But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, are drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation." (1 Thess 5:4-8)
    3. "As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." (2 Tim 4:5)
    4. "Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet 1:13)
    5. "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers." (1 Pet 4:7)
  3. Resolved, in light of the fact that my body is not my own but the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19-20), to use my body exclusively for the glory of God:
    1. "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." (Matt 5:29-30)
    2. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)
    3. "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." (Rom 12:1)
    4. "So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." (1 Cor 9:26-27)
    5. "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming." (Col 3:5-6)
  4. Resolved, to live a disciplined, temperate, and healthy lifestyle:
    1. Each day, arising no later than 5 a.m. and, barring ministry opportunities, retiring no later than 10 p.m.
    2. Each day to spend time worshiping through song.
    3. Each morning after exercising and showering, to "get my soul into a happy state" (George Mueller) by meditating on the word of God.
    4. Each evening before retiring, to "cleanse my mind" (Bill Gothard) by meditating on the word of God.
    5. Each week to fast at least three meals.
    6. To abstain from stimulants and depressants.
    7. To abstain from animal products, excluding cheese on celebratory occasions and mosaically clean fish (Deut 14: 9-19) on occasion.
    8. Each week, to memorize one paragraph from the Chinese Bible.
    9. Each day, to spend at least 15 minutes reading Chinese aloud.